Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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