id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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