U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
