so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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