I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
