I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
