He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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