She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize