How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Never underestimate the power of titties
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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