you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
