It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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