Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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