She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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