i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
this will be a night to untag.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
