the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
