Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
