woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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