i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
