I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Buhtt sex?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
A+ Viking dick
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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