She said her name was "party"
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
