I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
