I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
