I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
