The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize