I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
