so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
how do you play pong handcuffed?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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