The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
