Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
