ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
