I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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