Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
