He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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