I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
