This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
