So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
