I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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