Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
high people should be assigned attendants
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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