he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you didnt know i had herpes?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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