pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize