i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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