The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
