You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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