There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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