I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
