Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
