Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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