Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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