weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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