In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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