I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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