im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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