Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize