Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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