Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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