Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
