Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
