When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
