my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize