3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
