i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
