a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
