also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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