I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
