I feel like I'm in dance class right now
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
