addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
