my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
