Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
