Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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