Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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