I'm lost and stupid without you.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize