How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
