Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
