There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize