tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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