it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
