i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
