Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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