we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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