Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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