Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My brain says no but my pants say off.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
