doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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